doncorleone321

i love the following

2005-05-22T01:54:51Z

my girl
skirts
long to mid length hair
boobies
nice teeth
loyalty
honestly
bird feathers even though they have AIDS thanks mom
lil birds
big majestic birds
turtles
love
scaring people
my big penis
laughing
laughter
peepas to joke with
GOD
life
mom
dad
etc on family memebrs
leaving on vacation
cominghome on vacay
the initil thrill of teh rollarcoaster
freinds
movies
flowers
beautiful scenery
girls
my blanket colleens mom made me
fruit
lemonade
popsicles
pops (dennis adams)
momma (lynn Adams)
joking
practical jokes
scaring people
chinese food
CANDY!!!!!
history
psychology
CNU
music
comfy couches
nice carpets
pastels
nice art work
museums
pizza
languages
reading
solving puzzles and mysteries
KDR
bee gees
ice cream
sherbert
older women
barclizzy
j rizzy
DR GIBBONS HAHAH "THAT'S FOR MARTHA"
bird sandwichs
lemon fog with juice
tennis with Colleen SCHOOL IS IN SESSION!!!!.... SCHOOLS OUT EARLY
wrestling martha
wrestling colleen
wreslting
candy
DR bauers Eye BRows
Ducktales
My memories with all whom i love
being center of attention
kissing
cuddling h
holding hands
donuts
politics
teahing
children
making fun of linz for being catholic
hahaha
many many more

List of things i really hate

2005-05-14T20:01:18Z

In no specific order

noticing there no toilet paper after the fact.
Potholes
Stop signs
people who stop at yellow lights
Meatloaf
kids with snot hanging out of their faces
parents who yell at kids in grocery store lines
people who pick up produce and don't know what it is.
people who don't share
drivers who don't let you merge
people who cut you off
when you hold the door open for people and they don't acknowledge
peopel who think they are teh best.
Cats and kittens who puff on ciggies
slow internet access
pop ups
men who hit women
grass clippings
spiders
bugs that fly in your eyes or nose and ears
walking into spider webs
burning food im trying to cook
falling out of trees
when things change way too much too fast
frat boys who think they are the shit and aren't in KDR
pimples
beards
bad breath
bad teeth
the new cartoons that kids watch
smart ass kids
movie sthat aren't as good as books
books with bad endings
when you look forward to eating something all day and you get home and its not in the fridge
stinky people
hot sticky sweat
no pleasing people
when you have a craving and you don't know what for
rap videos
refering to women as bitches or hoes
people with close minded minds
not being the center of attention
racism
sexisms
poeple who curse and say God D@amn
not seeing my baby everyday
getting bad grades
not acheiving goals
cold toilet seats
no hot water in the shower
popcorn pieces stick in between gums and teeth
peopel who over act in movies
over dramatics
spitting when talking
getting answers wrong in front of teh class
being taken too seriously
ugly animals
bird poop on just washed cars
bird poop on myself ( 3 times)
songs that skip on cds favs at that
not having cell phones receptions
words with silent letters subtle
not having subtitles
being lost while driving
thats all one day ill combat this with a list of things i love in not always negative

A day that will live in infamy

2005-05-14T02:11:50Z

Ok as promised to a few peepas the May 13th entry that will definetly go down in history. But first a few words on being gay. My brother Darius age 12 on how one becomes gay, "a person becomes gay if his sperm touches another man's sperm" I just thought I'd inform everyone of the new qualifications for being gay.

Ok so here goes on this day I put my most embarrassing story of my life and seriously it is I post it here on the anniversary of the day in hopes of overcoming my embarrassment.

Picture it it is the year of our Lord Two thousand and two on the 13th of May. I was all alone in the house and I was struck by a rather sudden urge to self. So I am in the room watching a "Human Interaction Documentation" and i soon reach the plateau phase of Master's and Johnson's sexual excitement histogram. So I commence selfing. Well As I am indulging myself in this fantasy land of Fornication I forgot to keep an eye out to see if anyone came home. Well as i am wrapted in my world apparently my dad comes home and enters the house. Again I do not realize because of the afformentioned state of fantasy i am in. Well Needless to say but i shall say it nonetheless, My Dad walks in on me with my woohoodilly in hand selfing furiously like a rabid jungle monkey who hasn't had sex in weeks. At which point my entire fantasy world along with my erection came crashing down around me. And my dad mind you effortlessly made it worse by pointing and laughing not just a chuckle but a full out belly wrenching gaffaw. Of course my immediate response is to try and pack away my already waning erection and retreat to a small hole in the ground and pray for God to have mercy on my everlasting masturbating soul, and smite me. And as you can see God is not without a sense of humor as well go figure. So again back to my Dad making it worse. So my dad says no son please don't stop on my behalf continue, and im liek no dad that's ok I think we've all had enough for the day, nay the rest of my life. Well as i try to grab for my pants my dad beats me there and kicks them far outta reach and says no son please continue haha implore you, As one could imagine i wanted nothing more than to have my schocl drop off and just run under the bed, but again God likes to laugh to and it didn't and here I and it are still here. so every May 13th my dad finds it completely neccesary to call me to his room and when I open the door there he is reinacting the whole disgustingly embarassing ordeal as though he were me, with this stupid surprised look on his face that looks a lil somthing like this :O its not funny well anyway i hope you all enjoye dthis and i hope to see alot of people this summer love to you all and by teh way if you read leave a comment cuz im thinking about quiting the Lj. just wanna know you thought to all i love good night love you.

Eric Story Time

2005-05-04T23:07:11Z

First and foremost, I will try and type this LJ entry with as few typos as can possible. If that can in fact be done. First off ...wait this would be secondly, Ok secondly I'd like to lodge a formal complaint against my mother. Why on earth would you do that Eric?!?!! You may ask yourself this, but take a look at the substantial, and overwhelming evidence that I present to you in my case.
In the case Eric vs Mom(2005): the prosecutor (Eric) pleads his case against one Doreen (mom) Paramore.
Charge: Mom is attempting to dress too sexy, In blatant disregard for
MCE(Mom Code Of Ethics) which clearly expresses these rules.
1. One's mother is not allowed to dress or attempt to dress sexily in front of One's friends, (sexy dress examples, but not limited to the following, Mini skirts, halter tops, low rider jeans, and plunging V neck shirts)
2. It is strictly verboten, for One's mother, to attempt to be overly cool especially if One's mother is not cool by any stretch of the imagination.
Examples, once again including but not limited to (slang, jive talking, hip lingo from her hay day, or hip lingo from my hay day, or lingo that was used a while back and only ever heard again when watching VH1's I love the (70's, 80's, and 90's)
There are many more but thus far these two have been violated by one Doreen "mom" Paramore.
Evidence: My mother has been purchasing rather risque clothes for one her age (42-46), exhibit 1 A pleated denim mini skirt that shows off more mom leg then neccesary. Also this is a crime because one my mother doesn't shave her legs, yes folks its true she doesn't, on that note i inherited my leg hair from my mother, go figure, and granted my mother is beautiful, she had thick thighs and mini skirts aren't befitting of her.
Exhibit 2 A few pairs of low rider jeans yes folks low riders which i will not go into discussion of because A: it's disturbing, and B just plain wrong.
Exhibit 3 Plunging V neck shirt "This is our little 'boundary box'. We're gonna take my mom's boobies, put them in there and we gonna close this box and we gonna throw this bitch in the ocean. And the only way that you can get to this box is you gotta be motherfuckin' Jacques Cousteau." Enough Said.
As you all can see my mother clearly violated the MCE and this formal complaint has been lodge in hopes of rally supporters against violators of the MCE. Im not a hateful person nor do I think my mom doesn't deserve to dress attractively, I just think that my mother dressing like a teen or twenty year old girl is not kosher. I love you mom this just had to be done.

By the way I am and idiot as most of you know. I love laughter and jokes and the like. so today i go to the post office bright and early about 930 in the am. And I am mailing off my mother's Day card to various people, and i need 60C stamps, so I get up to the counter, and these mind you are clearly mother's day cards I mean the are pinks and whites and lavenders, the color of any mother's day card envelope. So after i get ready to mail them the mail clerk asks me if there are and hazardous liquids or substances in the mail i am sending. Here is where I decide to attempt to lighten the somber and rather melancholy atmosphere that is the post office. So I jokingly say " yeah Anthrax" to which few people snickered at my chuckle inducing joke. however my target audience "the mail clerk man" didn't find the joke to be that funny in fact he didn't laugh at all. He looks over the counter and says "Sir this is not a laughing matter, I'm just trying to do my job" and I'm like Whoa buddy!! It was just a joke to which he replies, "well it wasn't funny" and so I go from the post office feeling like the biggest jerk ever. ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE SOME ONE LAUGH, i mean he couldn't have been having a bad day the day had JUST STARTED IT WAS 9:30 IN THE AM. ARRRGH PEOPLE LOOSEN UP, IF I HAD ANTHRAX I WOULDN'T TELL YOU POSTAL MONKEY ASS THAT IT WAS IN THERE NOW WOULD I!

Anyway home for the summer hit up the celly if you want to do anything.
peaceout with love for all

And Blargh

2005-05-01T03:39:50Z

I feel so alone without you baby
I'm empty inside
My drive and zeal is gone :(

hey this should be an interesting one Got it from sarja

2005-03-28T02:55:21Z

If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?
(Now post this in your LJ and find out what mine would be)

well it has been a while

2005-03-24T02:49:53Z

Hello everyone im back im sorry im teh worst livejournal person ever i never update and teh like sorry

Ok so heres whats new in my life: in no specific order

So i got a hamster with my good friend colleen and well as you guessed it im not exactly pet owning material after three days under my care Cornelius teh hamster died and was as stiff as a nun in the missionary position mind you thats very stiff so according to our pet warranty e could get a new hamster free so we got one which i affectionatly name Bailey after my favorite "non" alcoholic beverage and mind you he is a cute hamster who jumped in my bowl of ravioli one day and well yeah that kinda put lunch on hold as we put him in teh sink to wash off. it was funny a wet hamster look funny

and for spring break i visited guess who colleen and she lives at teh corner of bumfuck and you got a purty mouth and dang nab it she has real live roosters in her yard and tehy surely do cock a fuckin doodle damn do at all random times of teh day and i had fluffer nutter sandwichs for teh firsttiem ever and it was good but i rather partial to teh fluffer my self hahaha ;) any which a way i royally whooped colleen in scrabble which is liek teh hardest thing to do kinda liek trying pry your way into a lesbian relationship with promises of penile penetration ooooooohh ba zing any who well i leanred that i am fanatstically ADD and i can't focus at all hah ai sthat new news to anyone oh yes and brooke came down to visit to cnu and my god i have a huge crush on her i love brooke shes teh best and she fanatastic and we were goingto paythe bill at dinner and i go hey i do belieev teh money is teh best form of currency and everyone around me looked at me with taht stupid look as if to say only from eth mouth of eric

Oh i am reminded of my days as a rebel back in elementary school i am forced to recall once i wa smad at my sister cuz she was mad at me cuz she missed teh newest episode of saved by teh bell with that hunky man ZaCh Morris i was always partial to AC Slater my self hahahah jk jk any which away i decided to run away from home due to her remarks that she wish she never had a brother so i ran away and can you guess where my happy little dumb ass went .... to a play ground yep i ran away to parkrdge elementary school yes i ran away to my elementary school playground and was determine to liv eteh rest of my days under teh playground liek some ass troll from the 3 billy goats gruff yep i figured hey i could still get my eductaion and attend lunch and all and what a better plac eto live than at a play ground, you know teh 3 rules of real estate location location location.

ahh yes soo as every one aleardy know s i am one of teh worst flirts in teh entire world seriously i am i can't flirt and teh funny thing s if its in my nature to do! SO this s tory starts off with me colleen and ryan going out to eat so mind you teh waitress is a hugely emensely attractive lady named shelly and mind you she wa snot much older than i and so i start flirting and blah blah and tehn she bets me i can eat a whoel lot of noodles well as everyoen knwo men will do teh dumest things in heaven or hell to impress a girl so i go ahead and eat like a metric fuckton of pasta and mind you i had to shit liek all hell it wa sliek the running of teh bulls and it wasn't pretty anway i decide to leave teh pretty waitress a nice tip it was a $20 tip and i also included my number if she wante dto call well of figure all she did was laugh and never call me i felt liek such a loser :(

Oh and i have dicovered i have a man crush

yes its true n oim not gay but i have a man crush on YUL Brynner he is teh hottest guy ever i m sorry and yes id slep with him if he were still alive no this does n't make me gay it does it just that he is soooooooooooooo hot behold look him up and see the beauty that is YUL

The recent funny events

2004-12-14T22:59:52Z

Ok, to all those who read my live journal prolly no one I've no friends.
Anyway so last night there was a meteor shower and i decided to go watch them with an extremely beautiful friend of mine brooke whom you all may know. well so this cop comes up to the car it liek 12 midnight as raps on teh window he goes
Cop: hey hows it going tonight
Brooke and me: it goes well
Cop: so whatcha doing out here so late ( shine flash light on our zippers )
Brooke and Me: whatcin a meteor shower
Cop: (shine flashlight into sky sees no meteors and precedes to ask for ID)
Me: man thank god i just got my license replaced i lost it liek three month ago and have been driving about sans license
Brooke: eric will you shut up
Cop oh well at least your over 18 i don;t hav eto call any parents
B and Me: hahahahah
Cop: well i have to go log you guys into teh system and stuff ill be back
later returns, "Well the only reason im out here is becuase we got a call about some suspic. behavior out here so we had to check it out, but this does look a lil suspect to me, Yall have any questions
Me and B: no
Me: do you have any question for me MA'am ( it a male cop)
Cop: a lil annoyed NO but Im a sir not a maam and no question yall have a good night
Brooke: eric will you just shut up
Me: Oh god i get soo nervous
hahahah that was fun was it not folks

Ok peeple out there answer me this question is it wrong to flick off a school bus of 2-3rd grades if they flick you off first, haha just a question not liek i did that or anything ....... ;)

oh yeah hahah so today im in teh parking lot of my lil bro private academy to pic him up and im wearing a santa hat.... and then this weirdo black lady with a grand total of liek 4.34 teeth in her mouth starts banging on my window she looks kinda homeless and im liek AGGGGGGGHHHHHH and i roll down my window and she says SAAAAAAAANtaaaaaaaa imlike ahh holy shit why do weird people always approah me it always happens liek teh two gays dudes thos days and then teh old man how jump in my car to cell me and natasha a necklace oh man it scary oh yeah and teh lady who grabs my hand to look and my ring and trys to take it off and im liek whoa hey stop, well any way she's like hey i want a bike santa hehehehehe i want an bike sannnnnnnnnnnnntaaaaaaaaaaa santa and im liek OOOOhh i want you to leave me teh hell alone and i definetly sped off and left her screaming santa in my rearview mirror.

Oh yeah and i know im quite teh jerk soo today im driving in my hood and this kid i know is skate boarding and he flags me down and say hey can i hitch a ride meaning ( i wantto hold on to your car and ride down the hill well this is a grand opportunity and if you think im gonna pass that up then hahahah a you my good friend are a dummy well anyway this kid hitchs his ride and i start speeding up and he goes hey slow down( im going liek 35mph) so i hit my brakes and he hit my sideview mirror and flips over it and then rools across my hood and and i ran over his skateboard hahahah good times and as i driove off laughing i heard him screaming you fucker hahahah i love it thats rich thats rich hahaha welll hah adon't look for new updates any time soon hah atil nice time all

Im BAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKK

2004-10-26T06:34:04Z

hello to all my journal fans out there sorry i haven't been keeping up with this but im goingto try and start that as of right now sometimes my life neevr ceases to amaze even me. of course we all knwo that means its time for and eric story hahahaha

So this one is kinda old but you peepas who i talk to already know this one but for everyone else ... so one day i am feeling fatter than usual so i decide to go for a little jog well while out on this jog it begins to rain and im liek aboot a mile away from my dorm well i ecided to take off my shirt and run in teh rain and i was wearing mesh shorts. well this car drive past my in teh opposite direction and begins honking its horns and all this rap rowdying niose just a big hullabaloo well i contine running and then bam i get cut of by this car that just cuts be off at an intersection and is blocking my way so i decided to run around it but i do that and teh indivdiual inside beckons to me to approch his vehicle i am assuming that he needs directions WROOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNG well he says and i quote MAN DAMN you ahavd a HUGE DICK ( mind you this is a perfect stranger .. a perfect gay black stranger)and im liek what excuse me and he s says YOU have a huge dick .. HOW BIG IS YOUR DICK? im liek i don't think that appropriate sir but no he is not done yet he fellows up with this QUESTION CAN I SEE YOUr DICK Im just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh help stranger i need an adult some one help me and he is liek mmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmm ( liek im a jar of campbell's soup) an dsay if you can't handle that big ol dick you can let me try im liek oh no buddy im fending quite well for my self to which this again random stranger is liek do you want a sugaer daddy and im liek hellllllllllll no and i strat to run away and i look back and dude is definetly licking he lips and watch my ass .. this is teh third tiem ive been approached by a gay man since i was in college and for those of you who know me im teh most hetero sexual dude in tehworld i just don't get it but either way women want and and men jsut want me too ahhhhh what a glorious life hahahah But to all you gay guys out there I AM STRIAGHT VERY STRIAGHT I love women lalalala i love ladies CHa cha cha yeah and definetly not going fix my spelling errors i just don't car night all

OK it has been awhile

2004-09-01T13:48:47Z

OK so to all my livejournal fans outthere sorry for the delay so college is going well here at the wonderful world of cnu lets see the day before classes started i was as drunk as a irish redneck on st paddys day sorry to any irish rednecks i know. then at the hall meeting me in my infinite wisdom meant to offer everyone a blowpop but i standup and say does any one want a blowJOB needless to say laughter insued or ensued and i tried to correct myself to no avail. then in history on teh first day teh professor says ok i may end class early today i just had two vodka martinis WHAT did she just say two vodka martinis which begs the question did she drink them at home and drive to school or did she just have then in teh office on teh "dry"campus who knows later she goes on to try and explain bloody mary but ends up getting excited aboutthe beverage and i belive she is truly shocked to find out this is a dry campus. according Jay hahah she prolly has to go clean out her office. hahahahah well. this is just short and brief i must go but youcan bet your sweet ass teh stories are not doen yet and um if youcan stand the typing or my spelling error um yeah you can just go and ummm wait till i come up with an insult

Today was just weird

2004-08-19T02:07:04Z

Hey so today was just a weird day

1st off i go to Shoppers to pick up some groceries, and i see the pastor of my church. Well theres nothing awkward there until i see where he is parked and he parked in the handicapp spot! yeah the handicapp spot... but he is not handicapp nobody in his family is. and his tags have no stickers, nothing! So for me that was a lil disturbing. Cuz here is the head religious figure in my church, breaking the law. what is the world coming to? I think we are all going to hell.

Second weird to happen to me today was i was sitting at home watching a "Documentary" and the phone rings. So i pick it up and its a wrong number, But i know the other person on the other end. However they don't have my number and she randomly dialed the wrong number and it turned out to be vanessa mohammed now this may not sound exciting to anyone else but you have to realize i hadn't seen vanessa in forever since hs graduation and she never had my number to dial. she actually was trying to call her best friend so we chatted for a bit.

Well I was talking to the security guard at target and it turns out that i know her niece and we both go to the same college. it was weird!!

Any way aside form all that i need to pack for school but i still haven't done that yet and i know will have to rush pack soon but hey whateva whats college all about. I am soo gonna miss my peepas from Stafford Ashley Natasha Keener Sydney, Sarja-bear, rivera believe it or not, terre you too thanks for the dinner date much fun

oh gotta go later

Ok I admit i had a pretty blonde moment today

2004-08-13T05:46:02Z

Ok well today was interesting first of all at work i fell in love with a beautiful lady whom would've had teh pleasure of me stealing her away from her husband had i not been such a chump about it. oh and she complemented me today by tellling me i was a good singer... in the words of ludacris i say this to asley simspon move bitch get out the way. hahhaha

Ok so heres is the greatest eric faux pa of teh century so im at the chill out spot which is basket robbin for my crew or any crew in stafford for that matter. anywhoo so im chillin with my peepas and liz comes in and tosses me her key chain well this key chain has a can of mace attached. now i am first and foremost a creature of curiousity if that is spelled right well so i decided justto spray the mace notto mace any one in particular justto spray so i gave it a good pump and then liek in 30 seconds they whole i mean the entire basket robbins coustomer clientel and employee staff are couching and wheezing and their eyes are tearing up people are shout AHHHH whatteh hell is that then teh whole store clears out and we are all in teh parking lot dying thanks to me and it turns out one employee has a heart condition and her mom was liek no don't go back in there with your condition so i almost killed an innocent then my friend crystal who i didn't know has asthma was searching for her inhaler has her windpipe begins to close off she runns out side give 5 quick blast and her condition stabilizes and well the indain people who own the joint def wantto kick me out. soo they all liek line up by teh icecream and tehy are staring at me like this >:o that is a mad face and they are running about screaming in indian so it sounds awhole lot liek this LAka LAKA LAKA LAKA laka black kid LAKA LAKA mace LAKA LAKA tehy looked liek they wanted to liek kick out that crazy cala cala is teh indian word for black i know this cuz my friend natasha is a punjabi and speaks hindi so i left peacefully but you bet you ice cream eatting ass ill be back